Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Not Going Anywhere

Well today marks one year since mom and I left for Durham and as the title suggests I'm not going anywhere.  This fall is looking like a whole lot of Colorado for me.  Now don't get me wrong I love Colorado, but I do wish it was looking a little more Phoenixie for me.  Today has been especially hard knowing that if it wasn't for the stinky cancer I would be packing my things preparing to leave on yet another adventure, though this time with a little more fun and much less pain.  Instead I am home... unpacking.  At least I am home, that is one thing I can be thankful for!  I could be stuck in Durham still, or moving there again to treat this cancer.  It is times like this when it is sooooo important to remind myself of what I do have and to be thankful for it and enjoy it while it is there.  So for now I will sit in my house, with my family near by and be thankful that I at least have that much!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Pumpie, and Dex

It has finally happened!!!
I have my insulin pump and my continuous glucose monitor (CGM) hooked up and working!  I love them.  The CGM is great since I don't notice when my blood sugar is low until it is REALLY low (we're talking in the 30s or lower here :O )  For those lucky readers who know nothing about diabetes, your blood sugar is supposed to be from about 70 or 80 to about 140.  You may have experienced what I like to call hungry feeling.  If you experience this you often get hot, unable to think hard or focus, shaky, and of course super hungry, usually for sugary foods.  This feeling means your body is experiencing a low blood sugar.  Your body can usually correct this and most healthy people would not pass out or die from this, however a person with diabetes takes insulin to bring blood sugar down, which when too much is taken can result in an extreme low causing the person to pass out and even die.  In fact we (diabetics) have to carry a special syringe with us incase we pass out from a low, kind of like an EPI pen only ours gives our body the quick burst of energy it needs.  I have never passed out (knock on wood!) though I have been as low as 27 :O (yikes!)   Like I mentioned above I don't notice my lows until I am really low, this feels awful and isn't good either.  Enter Dex, my continuous glucose meter.  This handy little invention goes under my skin and sends a blood sugar reading to a hand held device every 5 minutes.  It shows me trends which are helpful in adjusting my insulin doses as well as to know when I must eat.  Twice my CGM has alerted me of an impending low before the symptoms hit, allowing me to eat some quick carbs and fix the problem before I started to feel like crap!


My next new "toy" is pumpie, my lovely insulin pump.  The pump has a little tube that goes into me and stays there, hooked up to a little device that has insulin in it and can give me insulin throughout the day without any pokes!  I also have the ability to enter my carbs that I eat to get insulin for my food.  Before my pump I used to have to give myself a shot every time I ate, this tended to drive me away from food.  For instance with dinner say we are having pasta, I would have to decide at the beginning how much I would eat and then give myself the insulin needed.  inevitably I would wind up still hungry and want another serving or "surprise" there is super yummie chocolate cake for desert.  When this would happen I would either have to deny myself the delicious food (not a great idea when you are trying to gain weight) or give myself yet another shot. (not a whole lot of fun)   With the pump all of that is gone, I can now eat and eat and eat without a single shot, just a few pushes of buttons on pumpie and boom more insulin is sent right into me!

Chocolate cake you say?  Bring it on!!!!

My lovely pump

How my pump hooks into me

Wednesday, August 6, 2014


Its funny,
As I lose my hair, I seem to become more and more obsessed with it.  I am constantly looking at other peoples' hair noticing it, sometimes wishing my hair could be like that.  I then realize it can (hello wigs!).  I have been doing a pretty good job at accepting my hair loss and I am enjoying my wigs a lot.  I do however miss the ability to put my hair up.  This is not an easy task with a wig as it kind of shows the hair line.  I can get a full lace wig which has the bonus of being able to be put up anyway I want, they tend to be a little pricy so I will hold off for now, but I'm sure eventually the mood will strike and I will have to have my signature bun back.

One interesting thing I have discovered with this hair loss is just how amazing it is when God says he knows the number of hairs on our heads.  You never realize just how many hairs there truly are until they all start falling out.  My hair comes out by the brushful and then by the handful and I still have tons left.    I had even lost at least 2/3 of my hair prior to this whole Cancer and Chemo thing due to my transplant meds and the stress of the surgery.  I keep brushing my hair out each day expecting it to be the end of it and yet it just keeps going.  I have what seems like 10 pieces left and yet I still don't think any human would be capable of actually counting each hair I have.  Not just time wise.  Hair is so complex.  I figured you just had all the hair you see growing out, you know the long pieces (well on a long haired person) well you don't.  All those little baby hairs you see around your hair line.... you have them everywhere!  I keep finding all these little hairs in my sink and I'm like who the heck does this belong to, cuz it's certainly not long enough to be mine, but I have my own bathroom so it definitely is my hair.  CRAZY right, who knew our heads were covered in all these ity bitty baby hairs, there are probably thousands or even millions of those and no one ever sees them.  Add that to all the hair we do see and we truly have an amazing God just to be able to know all the hairs down to the very last one on each of our very unique heads!

Just an interesting thought to leave you with!  Enjoy the pondering and feel free to comment your thoughts on this!