We received a transplant information packet and testing schedule for the week in the mail on Saturday from Duke, (yeah they are that fast, Duke (2) UCH (0), you read that right we still have yet to hear from university of Co hospital) which really helps me to feel a lot better about this process. I still have a million questions and now know I have to do more nasty tests that I hadn't even thought of but at least I know what I have to do rather than just wondering. This lovely packet also contains a novels worth of information I have to fill out which for me is basically torture! (okay so maybe I exaggerate a lot, but hey get used to it, I enjoy being a
Anyway thats the excitement that is happening in my house! (yeah I know, you wish you were here! its pretty dang exciting :P )
Other than waiting to go to Duke there isn't any more transplant related news. I have been looking at videos about transplants online a bit. They are interesting to watch, a little freaky but overall I like seeing them. I have realized a thought process I have that is pretty funny. In a lot of the videos people or doctors will mention that they have a lot of really sick people coming in for a transplant. When I hear this I automatically count myself out and start to worry a little that I won't be able to get a transplant because I am not very sick. When I stop and think about it rationally I realize that I guess I am really sick, it is crazy to me that a) I don't think I am very sick , and b) I have trouble grasping the concept that I AM really sick. I am only 21 years old, supposedly the prime of my life, on oxygen all the time and have an FEV1 (lung function test result) of 25% or less (100% being the predicted amount for the average girl my age, weight and height) not to mention all the drugs I do and countless lock ups (aka hospital stays)...so yeah I think that means I'm sick. I guess this is what you get when you have dealt with an illness your entire life. The other crazy thing I have been doing is getting freaked out about the statistics of lung transplant survival. There is a part of me that doesn't want to go through with the surgery because I don't want to put a "limit" on my life. Again when I think this I find myself stopping the other part of myself and I am like "uh Anna there already is a "limit" on your life and it is way worse odds then the whole lung transplant thing, plus you have beat the odds so far, this isn't gonna be any different." Then I'm like "oh yeah I forgot about that"
In other news I was able to make it to the Toby Keith concert this weekend, which was happy! It seems like all our fun events of the summer just so happen to occur two weeks after getting out of the hospital, I was unable to attend the last one (aka rockies game) because I didn't make it 2 weeks before I had to go back. This time I did make it though it was a close call as I started to feel a bit sick earlier last week. I never got worse then just the beginnings of sick feeling so I decided to wait it out in the hopes that I could stay decently well long enough to make it to the weekend and go in on monday if need be. As I said above I made it! (and actually past because I am not calling the docs today, I feel a little bad still but not terribly bad so I am just waiting for my apt with them on Wednesday) As far as the concert goes, I am glad I went but it was not the greatest concert ever. I had never really listened to him at all (only 2 military songs because Dave likes them and the red solo cup chorus, cuz well most people seem to know it) and after listening to his songs I decided I am not a huge fan, most of his songs are so inappropriate and pretty derogatory towards women, which isn't really the way I roll. (I also couldn't really hear any words, it was mostly just a jumble of sound, so who knows what he was even singing) I did have fun though and am glad I went, it was a good experience! I also decided that it looks really fun to be down in the standing area and have decided that I want to do that sometime when I get my new lungs. (of course I will need to wait a bit and go in the summer and be outside and try to stand in a less crowded spot to avoid the germs that come with large crowds but hopefully it will be something I can do, at least once!)
See you later :)