Day 1059

     The day has come.  Today, October 12, 2016, marks 3 years since my transplant and basically 2 years since I finished chemo.  Wow!  Has it really been 3 whole years already?  It feels like it was just yesterday.  At the same time, lengthy pre-bed treatments, tube fed meals, coughing, lack of appetite, burning lungs, beeping IVs, oxygen tanks and an overall struggle to survive seem like a very distant memory.  I almost can't remember my life before transplant, almost.  
     Making it to 3 years is huge.  About 40% of my fellow transplant patients don't make it this far.  It is not just a statistic but something I have seen play out.  I have seen the dreaded message about a friend needing prayer as they take a turn for the worse.  Many tears have been shed as those battles come to an end.  It is an interesting experience to see friend after friend suddenly go downhill all while I am sitting here fine.  It is confusing, on one hand, filling my head with the why me's of survival and yet, it is also calming.  There is an interesting peace that comes with knowing, truly knowing, how fragile and temporary life truly is.  At any moment it can be taken from me, from any of us, and the thing is, there is nothing any of us can do about it.  
     So what do you do with this information?  You live.  You find what matters, what is worth your time, what makes you happy and fills you up and cut out what doesn't.  You fill it with adventure, with fun and laughter.  You fill it with people in community sharing struggles, joys, laughter and pain.  You say yes to opportunities and try not to let worry about the little things stop you from experiencing the big things.     
     3 years means I have lived 3 years longer than I was supposed to.  3 years means I have gotten to experience almost 3 years of "normal" life (all except that little cancer blip, two years ago).  I have had 3 years to share laughs and play games.  3 years to be silly and make up songs.  3 years to pull all-nighters full of good conversations.  3 years to explore this crazy planet and go on spontaneous adventures big and small.  3 years to meet people and make friends and I've loved it!  
    I won't lie and say I have enjoyed every minute but I have definitely liked a lot of it and I wouldn't do it differently if I went back.  These last 3 years have been some of the craziest but also some of the best years of my life.  If 3 years is all I get, I know that I lived those years to the fullest!  And, if I get more time, I plan to keep on living it, one day at a time because, honestly, that is all any of can really do!      
     This year to celebrate I am going somewhere to see my human smallness and fragility in a more tangible way, under the stars and the rising sun, surrounded by good friends, with an early morning trip to the Grand Canyon!  Until next time, get out there and live!

    

New year, New Major and that's where the new things stop!

Hey blogollowers!  

Just a quick reminder before we get started, my health excitement of the past two? Three? (I don't even know anymore) years has finally become...well less exciting and with that comes much less postings.  I will try to post updates periodically but as you may have already noticed they will most likely be few and far between.  As sad as you might be please remember this is a good thing!  It means I am out in the world much too busy wrangling the bull of life to blog as often as I once did when I was hardly breathing or when I spent most of my days on the couch.  I still nap all the time but if i'm not napping I'm up, out and about enjoying everything this fabulous world has to offer.  And with less posts it means you guys can get out there and live your lives as well, you don't need to sit at home watching your computer waiting to see if I'll be okay (as if you really did that :p) I am okay! No news is good news , great news even. So let's all get back out there to the up close and personal, face to face experience of the real world.

 If you want more frequent updates then come on down to Phoenix and we can go grab lunch! (Like for real though!  I love going out for lunch, but maybe dinner or coffee, im busy at lunch!)

Alright enough of my rant lets get to the real reason you are here, why an update of course!

Early Decemeber brought the end of my first semester back (I passed all my classes!), a return back to freezing cold land I call home and yet another check up at Duke.  This time was one of my bigger ones, not for my lungs, but for cancer.  December marked one year since I was officially declared cancer free and my one year PET scan (a type of scan very similar to a ct where they can look and see if there is any evidence of cancer in your body.  Luckily for me the scan was normal!  Yippie!!!!!  Hopefully I will never have to have another PET scan ever, not that they are particularly bad or even unpleasant but my doctor feels that a PET scan is no longer necessary as long as I am having no cancer symptoms.

On the lung side everything is looking pink and cheery.  (Actually as this trip did not involve a bronch no one actually looked to see if my lungs are still pink, for all we know they could be a florecent shade of orange by now, seems likely with all the radiation I am exposed to). In fact my lung function test was the highest it has been since transplant.  (Well probably since almost ever, as let's be honest my pre transplant numbers weren't anything you wanted to post on the fridge, unless you were going by golf scores!)

My weight is also up, almost to the highest it has ever been (ironically my highest weight was right before transplant). Even if I don't graduate (don't worry I will but just in case), there is one thing college is good for, weight gain!!! With dinner alone tonight I ate almost 900 calories and it wasn't like I ate a crazy amount, I got a single entree bowl and an appetizer from Panda Express. (Transfer student 20 anyone?). That is the one up side of my schools fast food only dining options.  There are extra calories everywhere! (Good for me, terrible for everyone else)

The new semester started today and I am now officially a psychology major.  The classes seem like they will be much better for my poor memory, not so good for my lazy side as there are tons of assignments but at least my brain won't be crying as it was in chemistry!  Plus my laziness is one habit I really need to kick to the curb.

So anyway things just keep on keepin on which is fine by me!

Until next time 

Go get some fresh air!  :D

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